How many times have you found yourself fretting and or obsessing and or flabbergasted and or furious over something someone else did or thought or said, or, for that matter, something they didn’t do or think or say?
Let’s admit, we’ve all been there; it might be a friend, family member, co-worker, boss, or significant other; it might even be a stranger. Regardless of the relationship, they do or don’t act in a certain way and you are beside yourself. How dare they not see how selfish, stupid, inconsiderate, shameful, and arrogant, etc, etc they are? HOW DARE THEY?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???
Well, maybe a lot is wrong with them, at least according to your system of values and beliefs. Of course, according to their own system, maybe there’s nothing wrong at all; maybe it’s you! Hmmm, what do you about such moronic behavior? Let’s look at some choices.
First, of course, there is the indignant anger and or frustration that we feel perfectly justified to express. Of course if you ask yourself the question we just talked about above, “Does this choice, anger, frustration, worry, etc, that I’m feeling over the actions of this person serve my growth, well being and the greater good?” And the answer is, “NO!” It most certainly does not. If you are stewing, fretting, steaming or frumping over someone else’s actions, you are not choosing a choice or reaction that serves you well at all.
“So what would be the empowering choice?” you might ask. Well, you could try to change them, show them the light so to speak. Ever tried that and had it work? Probably not. You could accept the egregious behavior or attitude, but how empowering to you would that feel? I’m guessing not very. You could tolerate it, but again there is a built-in negativity there, too. So what is the empowered, enlightened being to do? What choice would serve your growth well being and the greater good? I’ll tell you-Simply allow them to be who and what they are. That’s right, allow. Don’t accept, don’t tolerate, just allow. And in so doing they cannot bother you in the least.
That’s right. When we allow other people, over whom we have no control anyway, to be and do who and whatever they are, we give both them and ourselves a great gift. Trying to make someone see the light and change virtually never works. It simply creates more resistance, anger and frustration. Allowing is a very non-resistant energy; you continue to flow in your value field while others flow in theirs.
Another way to say it is you purposefully choose to not waste your energy on something you cannot control-and that always serves your growth, well being and ultimately the greater good. There is one less angry, fretting, worried, frustrated, frumping being on the planet.
Of course we must offer a qualifying statement here. Allowing certainly does not mean that you would idly stand by while someone is purposefully cruel or hurtful or in any way physically abusing someone else or a helpless animal or child. No, that would indeed warrant some intervening action. But most of the time, most of the energy we invest on feeling negative toward others due to their attitudes, thoughts or actions stems simply from our egos being bruised, and in so doing we lose control over the only person on the planet we can control—ourselves.
Thus, you now have the secret to the art of allowing. One of my favorite spiritual teachers, the group of entities known collectively as Abraham, as voiced through Esther Hicks spends significant amounts of every seminar discussing and extolling the virtues of allowing– one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned; one I practice constantly.
Please take a look at my book, The Synthesis Effect, where I teach you my clinically proven and very powerful method for creating the life you desire, the life of your dreams: The Synthesis Effect book by Dr. John McGrail