A Quick Case Study
Those of you familiar with my work and my Synthesis process know that I base a lot of my models and techniques for creating personal growth and transformation around the integration of spirituality and science. Within the realm of ancient spiritual wisdom, there is a generally accepted principle that we create our own reality through the energies (thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs and behaviors) that we first project and then subsequently attract back through what is called, the law of attraction, which states, That which is like unto itself, is attracted.
Another way to think of it is that all energy flows along lines of attraction. This includes the energy of our thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviors. So, in essence, what we put out energetically will determine what we attract back energetically, thus framing our reality, both in a given moment and in the more general flow of our lives.
This principle in effect tells us to “believe in order to see.” Put it out there and it will come, so to speak, sort of like Field of Dreams, a film I still love and highly recommend because it’s just so much fun.
The notion of believing to see, of course, flies directly in the face of contemporary Western science and philosophy, which teaches us to “see in order to believe.” i.e., wait for a result before we believe in its reality. Hmm, ladies and gentlemen we seem to have a conundrum here, yet interestingly, there is an enormous and growing body of solid, empirical scientific evidence that actually supports the more spiritually based, “believing in order to see” model of creating reality.
In my book, The Synthesis Effect, Your Direct Path to Personal Power & Transformation, I devote a fair amount of space to presenting and discussing that science in order to provide the empirical “seeing to believe” evidence that most Westerners require so they can then begin to engage in exactly the opposite kind of thinking (and actually get results) and do it with both commitment and confidence. Oh well, I think a little irony—I call it chicken and egg-ness— is a good thing, although it was a bit tricky to write.
Anyway, a big part of the Synthesis process for creating change and personal growth of any kind revolves around two key models called the Formula for Change and the Quantum Reality Equation, both designed to help Western thinkers in manipulating their energies purposefully—to help them believe in order to see from a very logical and practical standpoint—and thus create whatever change (new reality) in their life they wish to create.
And yet, even with the science and these very cool, logical left-brained models in front of them, most of my clients and readers—died-in-the-wool Western thinkers, en-trained to only believe in something after they see it—will still resist. How do we get around that one? Well, for my money there is nothing like presenting more proof—a good, old-fashioned first-hand success story to help seal the deal, and I’d like to share one with you. I hope you enjoy it.
A little while back a client with whom I had worked several years ago called to request some new sessions. I dearly love all my clients and it’s always great to hear from the folks I’ve worked with, but when I do and they ask to come in to see me it almost always means that something in their life either has gone or is going sideways. Heck, no one ever wants to come in because they’re feeling too good and have a need or desire to cheer down!
At the outset of our first session this individual, (a very bright, attractive, intelligent and talented lady by the way) sat down and immediately reported that she felt like a complete failure, having struggled in a career largely marked by a series of jobs that she both hated and did poorly at. She felt that she was on the brink of being let go from yet another of these positions, and was feeling completely exasperated.
She said, “John, I am so NOT living your rule # 1. (Life is supposed to be fun) I am so NOT having fun!”
“Okay, I said, let’s change that.”
“I’m not sure it’s possible,” she lamented.
“Of course it’s possible,” I replied. “Anything is possible.”
We clearly had some work to do…
It only took about 15 minutes of that first session to identify the foundation of her problem, which was essentially that every one of the jobs she had “failed” at had been a position that was in one way or another in direct antithesis to her core values, aptitudes and desires. In other words, she had been working at wrong jobs for wrong reasons and for a long time. “Why, would anyone do that?” you might ask.
In essence, influential people throughout our lives, often repeatedly tell us, even demand that we accept that what we really love to do, are good at, and want to pursue holds no real value or isn’t important or practical or whatever; it doesn’t suit them. If we hear it often enough and from the right people— parents, teachers, spouses, etc., we unwittingly begin to believe it, and then try to force ourselves into roles that simply do not match our real selves. And it NEVER works, at least not without creating a lot of pain, and often a very unhappy life. This is exactly what happened to my client and many others I’ve worked with.
She had, in effect, “learned” to live her life under the aegis of the expectations and values of others rather than her own, and thus had inadvertently created a reality of low self-esteem, zero self-confidence, limiting beliefs of unworthiness and hopelessness, a sense of being doomed to unhappiness and chronic failure, and a crushed spirit.
Once we uncovered what was really going on we began a simple three-fold process: 1) destroying her limiting beliefs and helping her re-discover the complete and total self-love and self-esteem we are all born with— and we are, all of us, born with those incredibly self empowering attributes; 2) helping her first understand and accept that her core values, natural talents and desires are indeed worthy and worthwhile regardless of what anyone else thinks and then, 3) helping her realign her professional pursuits to fit those values, talents and desires.
One of the key requirements for success with Synthesis is total commitment to the process, which means total commitment to oneself. To her credit, this client committed fully. Ironically, between our first and second session she wrote that she had been fired from the crummy job. I simply replied,” “Congratulations, the universe has sent you a message and a gift. It’s time for you to do what you want.”
By the end of our second session she reported feeling a genuine energetic shift: she was beginning to feel comfortable with herself, whom she really is, and also ready to focus fully on pursuing a professional endeavor that matches what she wants to be and do rather than what she was always told she should be and do.
There was still a degree of uncertainty and doubt, but when she left the office I felt comfortable that she was beginning to project an authentic energy of self-worth, enthusiasm, intention and expectation; I felt that she was definitely on the right path and I expected that she would report some positive results before too long.
So just imagine my delight when just a few hours later I got a message from her saying, “John I think what we’re doing is working, I just got a call from a company asking me to bid on a project.” (This was a project in her new chosen field of pursuit— one that very nicely matches her core values, talents and desires.) All I could say was, “You go girl!” Yippee!
Was it just a wonderful coincidence? In a word, no, I’ve seen this sort of thing happen time and time again over the last 13 years. Are we done? No, there is more to do. As powerful as Synthesis is, it’s not magic, but I also know that she is on her way and will very likely thrive; and therein lays the moral of the story, the proof in the pudding.
When we live authentically, when we project the energy of our true selves and trust our core values and our desires—believing in order to see—and stop trying to live according to someone else’s vision of what our reality should be, we will thrive; it’s impossible not to. After all, that which is like unto itself is attracted. It may take a little assistance to get there, but it is so, so worth it. Remember rule # 1— Life is supposed to be fun! I do so hope yours is, and if it is not, that you choose, like this dear person, to make it so. Anything is possible, anything.
As always, I welcome your comments and deeply appreciate your interest in empowered living.
Blessings,
Dr. John
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